CDD and self esteem

So I recently had some comments posted to my blog about how much women like me disgust her.  How every women in a DD relationship has low self esteem and is crazy to allow her self to be abused this way.  A real man would never  agree to something like this and a real woman would never desire something like this.  She also went on to URGE me to go to counseling and to leave my husband.

Now you are probably asking yourself at this point how was I feeling, you know was I upset or maybe angry?  I was none of those things, in fact I found the whole thing quite sad and a little pathetic.  First off to judge me based solely on the fact that I am in a CDD marriage shows me how truly closed minded she is.  I have no problems at all with self esteem and am a very strong and accomplished women in my own right.  I have worked for many campaigns most of which have been successful.  I am well respected and sought after in my community.  I don’t submit because I feel like I am less then him, I submit because I choose to.  In fact I believe it takes a stronger woman to submit then it does to be a woman who fights and feels like they must be in control at all times.

Second I am not abused, very far from it in fact, I am one of the most spoiled women I know.  I am listened to, taken care of, treated like a lady.   I am constantly being bought gifts and my husband makes me one of the top priorities in his life.  He takes me out for dinner, takes me away for weekends, helps with the kids and the house.  He listens to my likes and dislikes and tries his best to keep things within those.  Now, does he also hold me responsible for my behavior?  Yes!  Does that mean I am abused?  They very idea is laughable!

I am spanked wife and I am proud of that.  I am proud that my husband will blister my bottom when needed.  I am Proud that I am married a man that I can’t push around.

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No Apologies

After coming across what seemed to be the 4000th or so post on someone’s blog starting with “I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while.” I decided it is time to rethink what makes a good blog and the expectations that have come to be part of it. I am thinking that no one should utter those words again . . .and with that thought I give you Blogging Without Obligation. If you feel the same way feel free to grab the logo, make a logo or whatever you would like to do! I release all the logos, thoughts and words mentioned here about this concept into the public domain. Take the idea and run with it. . .or walk away. It is all good.

• Because you shouldn’t have to look at your blog like it is a treadmill.

• Because its okay to just say what you have to say. If that makes for a long post, fine. Short post, fine. Frequent post, fine. Infrequent post, fine.

• Because its okay to not always be enthralled with the sound of your own typing.

• Because sometimes less is more.

• Because only blogging when you feel truly inspired keeps up the integrity of your blog.

• Because they are probably not going to inscribe your stat, link and comment numbers on your tombstone.

• Because for most of us blogging is just a hobby. A way to express yourself and connect with others. You should not have to apologize for lapses in posts. Just take a step back and enjoy life, not everything you do has to be “bloggable”.

• Because if you blog without obligation you will naturally keep your blog around longer, because it won’t be a chore. Plus, just think you will be doing your part to eradicate post pollution. One post at a time. . .

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New Paddle

So we got a new paddle this week,  a friend of mine made it and out of respect for the fact that I am a girly girl she painted it pink and placed pretty butterfly’s and ladybugs on it.  I love things that show off I am a girl but this was the first time I have had a paddle that showed it.  It also creates quite a sting.  so whats your favorite implement?

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CDD and kids

So this is a big issue in most households and one with having 3 kids ourselves we have had to deal with.  We are not the kind of couple where we wait until the kids are all out of the house, we have tried and just doesn’t really work for us.  So we have to try and figure out how to do this with children. We have come up with a number of ways and I thought I would share them below.

1. Quite Implements-There are a number of implements that can produce quite a sting with relatively little noise.

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Homemaking Journal

SO I have been working on a homemaking journal to help me keep to a better schedule and more organized.  Organization is one of weaknesses and one of the things that J really wants in his home.  This is an area in which I need improvement.  I have asked him to hold me accountable in this area and he has agreed.  I have create a homemaking journal and every night will bring it to him and he will look it over and make sure I have done everything that I needed to for the day. There are also places for him to write in things that he would like to have done.

I am really hoping that this will help me with keeping the boys on track, the house neat and organized and that it will create less stress in the house.  I really want our home to be a place that J enjoys coming home to.  His refuge, his safe place.

For every item that is not done I will be spanked.  The more that are undone the more severe the spanking.  Then after the spanking I will be required to complete the tasks.

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Spanking and the 4 D’s

We practice the 4 D’s in our house.  I will give a brief synopsis for those that have never heard of them.  What it means is that I can be discipline for anything I do that falls within these 4 things

Disrespect

Disobedience

Damaging behavior

Dishonesty

It has really simplified things here in our home as I cannot argue that what I did was right or justify it.  If it can fall within one of the D’s then I can be disciplined for it.  Well for the last few months instead of disciplining according to the 4 D’s it’s been more about me pushing him and then when I have pushed to far he spanks.  We have been discussing this and how frustrated I feel because there are no real clear boundaries.  When I don’t have boundaries then I tend to push to find then line, what this has created in our house is an atmosphere of stress and tension.  So we have decided that each and every time I break a D there will be immediate consequences.

I am hoping that this will reestablish some of the harmony in our house and also get me back on track with my behavior in terms of what is acceptable and what is not.  I will feel safe and more secure knowing that there are rules and boundaries in place and he will no longer feel like I am constantly pushing him.  Now, I know that this very well could mean a sore bottom for the next few days but in spite of that I am still looking forward to the peace and the harmony.

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Vaction almost over

So I have had the last two weeks off from work for the holidays and on Monday I have to go back to work.    Theses last couple of weeks have been great.  My husband and I have really reconnected and the time spent with the kids has been amazing.  I am so looking forward to a new year.  There are a few things I want to focus on over the next few months.  I thought I would share them here and hopefully having them out there in writing will help keep me more accountable.

So here we go:

• Turning over all control of the money and not worrying about it
• Becoming a lady of grace and submission
• Eating healthy and being more physically active
• Participating in a Bible Study
• Daily Bible reading
• Embracing the role of help mate and mother

So there you go.  Some of these will be easier then others.  Some have a lot to do with our DD lifestyle and others not so much.

Yesterday was a great start to my new commitments.  It was helpful that from the very beginning J took charge and set the tone for the day.  Making it clear that things were going to be done his way and I could question and throw a fit by all that would do is get me paddled.  I made the choice to just follow and it went great.  The children behaved all day and if an issue did arise then he was quick to handle it and I didn’t have to step up at all.

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