So my Birthday was this weekend and boys did my husband do a good job of taking care of me. I think that sometimes people look at those of us in a DD relationship and believe that it’s always about the power exchange and him being in charge and me being submissive but there is so much more to it then that. This weekend he made a huge effort to show me how much I mean to him and how important I am in his life. He started by taking me out Saturday to a special dinner just the two of us, then Sunday he woke me up with gifts from the boys and him. After church there was a surprise party for me I had so much fun and really enjoyed all the special attention from him. I don’t know why the idea is out there that because we spank and practice a Male led household that he can’t be gentle, that is so not true, in fact most of the men I know are in fact more gentle and much more aware of the way they treat their wives. They know that their every word is listen to and that we give their every desire our highest preference and try our utmost to please them. We don’t do this out of fear but out of our desire to please them.

As most of you who regularly read my stuff then you know I came to this lifestyle out of a belief that it is Biblical.  So I am posting something that I wrote in regards to a verse in the Bible.

In Hebrews 13:17 it says “Obey  them that have the rule  over you , and submit yourselves : for they  watch  for  your  souls , as  they that must give  account , that  they may do  it  with  joy , and  not  with grief  : for  that  [is] unprofitable  for you” I want to break these words down for you as they were broken down for me..

The word obey that is used in this passage is the word peithō it’s a verb implying continuous action and it means
to listen to,
obey,
yield to,
comply with
to trust,

The word rule comes from hēgeomai it is also a verb meaning to lead

a) to go before

b) to be a leader

1) to rule, command

2) to have authority over

The word hēgeomai is actuall dirved from the root word agō

1) to lead, take with one

a) to lead by laying hold of, and this way to bring to the point of destination: of an animal

b) to lead by accompanying to (into) a place

c) to lead with one’s self, attach to one’s self as an attendant

d) to conduct, bring

e) to lead away, to a court of justice, magistrate, etc.

2) to lead,

a) to lead, guide, direct

b) to lead through, conduct to: to something

c) to move, impel: of forces and influences on the mind

The word rule comes from agrypneō it is again a verb meaning

to be sleepless,

keep awake,

watch

2) to be circumspect, attentive, ready

The word give comes from apodidōmi this one is also a verb and means

1) to deliver, to give away for one’s own profit what is one’s own, to sell

2) to pay off, discharge what is due

a) a debt, wages, tribute, taxes, produce due

b) things promised under oath

c) conjugal duty

d) to render account

3) to give back, restore

4) to requite, recompense in a good or a bad sense

The next word account comes from  logos which is a masculine noun and the definition is:

e) anything reported in speech; a narration, narrative

f) matter under discussion, thing spoken of, affair, a matter in dispute, case, suit at law

g) the thing spoken of or talked about; event, deed

I think this verse very clearly is talking about those that have been given leadership over anpther person which definetly in my mind applies to a husband and wife relationship.  He will have to give an account for my soul and the way he watched over it or lead it.  Now does this absolve me of any or all responsiblity?  No, I don’t believe it does.  I will be required to give an account for the way that I followed him, the way I submitted.  The marriage instution was set up by God and is a sort of umbrella for the woman, if I choose not to obey, submit to and follow my huband then I am taking myself out from underneath the umbrella of protection and then an choosing to answer directly to God but if I choose to submit to him and follow him then he will be the one ultimately responsible for an acount.

I believe the verse also speaks of parents-child relationship, a pastor-congregation relationship pr any relationship where some one is placed in leadership over another person.

Sorry all for the fact that I have been away for awhile but life got busy.  Work has been crazy, in fact I have been traveling a bit.  This is the first time I have traveled since we began DD. I was interested to see how this was going to go and how I  was going to do when I didn’t have his physical presence there to remind me of my role.  It was great!  I was able to see that this has truly became a heart change for me and not one just done out of fear of a spanking.  It is such a great feeling to know that even though I was not able to see him every day I still behaved in a way that would have been pleasing to him had he been there.

We are going to do a maintence spanking tonight, just as a physical reminder of place as his wife ad of my submission to him.  When we were discussing a spanking tonight I realized how much I love him and I love our new life.

I know I posted about the earlier in my post title Blistered Bottom but I am still struggling with it.  Last night I made and off handed comment to J about not being a good mom and boy did that set him off.  So last night I got paddled for it again.  1. Because he says it’s a lie and in out house lying is a HUGE  No-No and then also because it shows that I don’t trust him to make good decision because he chose to marry me and why would he coose to marry someone who is not a good mother.  Then after he was done lecturing and spanking he kept making me repeat that I am a good mother.

The last few weeks things have been pretty hectic around our house and things have gotten a little out of balance so he told me last night we are going to re establish the balance in our house so I cannot disagree with him for the next week about anything no matter what he says I am to tell him Yes Sir.  This will be hard not that I argue with him a lot but I am use to being able to express my thoughts , feelings and opnions on any given matter.  Yet, at the same time I needed him to re-establish the power exchange in our house and to kind of reign me in as I had notice my tounge was getting sharper and was trying to pull myself in but just couldn’t seem to get a hold on it.

This morning I feel so at peace and secure.  I still am amazed at how this life really does workand how when you do things God’s way with the man running the house with love and care for those he is responsible for it works and things are peaceful and happy.  I need my husband to be strong enough to whip my bottom good.

Why is that some men just assume that because you are in a DD relationship that it automatically makes you under the authority of any and all men that you come into contact with.  When you refuses to submit to them they start creating issues and then your husband an email.  LOL!!!! Like he would spank me because I refused to obey another man, like he would just believe you without asking me and hearing what I have to say and most importantly like I haven’t been telling him what was going on from the very beginning.

These men are nuts and are using loving discipline as a excuse to run over women in general.  This is wrong and some of the worst kind of abuse women have to deal with.  Just because I choose to submit to my husband does NOT make me submissive to every man on-line who I come into contact with.  I am strong, powerful, intelligent woman and the last thing I need is some uneducated man that wants to call himself a top or a dominant trying to tell me how to run my life.  Then to go off on my and tell me that you refuse to submit to my authority because I don’t want to listen to you.  You are crazy.  I have never have asked you to submit to my authority and if you are soooo weak that a woman standing up to you and saying NO I have a husband and e is the only man I have to answer to sends you into a temper tantrum then you are no real man!!!

So like the titled said in course of the last two days I have had my bottom blistered.  Last night I got stubborn about the spanking he wanted to give and it became a battle of wills.  I was not physically fighting the spanking but I was emotionally fighting it.  I was determined not to make sound or let him know how bad it was hurting.  So he spanked and then sent me to the corner then called me back and spanked some more.  I was still not crying at that point so he stopped and began rubbing my back and to be honest I was thinking HA HA I won this one.  Then he starts to reiterate what he was thinking and how my attitude and behavior was hurting the family!  Okay , not fair then he picks up the paddle and starts in again.  That’s when I break and finally start crying. So yes my bottom was well blistered last night and I am sitting very gingerly but biy I needed it.

Then this afternoon we were talking and I start putting myself down again.  So then he decides that I need to repeat a certain positive phrase about myself and I just couldn’t do it.  So what does he do? He gets out the paddle and proceeds o redden my bottom again.  I have a feeling that this may be a thing that happens often in the future as he wants me to start seeing myself in a positive light. Oh my poor red and sore bottom.

Yet I wouldn’t want it any other way, I need him to paddle me and to care what I think about myself enough that even when my bottom is already throbbing and very very sore he doesn’t hesitate to do it again if needed.

Have you ever thought about the other women in your life.  No matter who we are or where we live.  We all have at one point or another or maybe currently are living in another woman’s shadow.

Maybe it’s our mothers, whether or not we place our self there we will always be looking back to see are we doing it the same way she did it?  It doesn’t matter whether we had a good mother or a bad one, if she taught us about being a godly woman or not.  Always in our own minds we will be comparing ourselves to her.  Even if we don’t want to follow in her footsteps we will make decision based upon doing things differently then she would.

Maybe it an ex wife or girlfriend.  Even if our SO knows they don’t want to be with them and we know that they have chosen us and love us, do we not compare ourselves to them.  It could be in the way the cooked,dressed, took care of the home, treated him or even in the bedroom.  We want to be better at everything!

Maybe it’s a co-worker, a old school friend,a mother-in-law or a sister but we all have another woman whose shadow we live in.  So how do we deal with it?  I was talking at work the other day with a friend a he made a said “You do you and I’ll do me”  which has really stuck with me.  It was a Bible study he heard once and I have to say I have been looking for it.  Yet I think that one quote says so much.  God created you with special talents and ways of doing things that are just you.  So for the last couple of weeks whenever I have been thinking of those “other” women I remind me self to just do me because that’s all I can do.

I think for those of us that are spanked this can even be tougher because we want so much to be submissive and to please him.  Or even worse we look at the “other” women who may have been in his life who did not submit  or who played games with him and manipulated him.  Then we have a tendency to feel prideful over it which eventually leads to us falling flat on our face.

So I have been going through the Bible Study by Beth Moore on Esther. It has got me to think about my title. I think no matter what kind of childhood you had, who you are marry to , what your job it or how many kids you have that it is tough to be a woman.

So I thought I would like to ask the question of those that read my blog, do you think it’s tough and if so why? and if not why?

For the next few days I will share what I think is tough about it and how God wants us to handle it.

1. The smell of J right before bed.
2. A good piece of dark chocolate.
3. The way he gets that look in his eye then calls me little one.
4. His arms around me.
5. The way he says no.
6. The way he says Yes.
7. The smell of fresh washed laundry.
8. The cleansed feeling after a spanking.
9. Knowing he is in charge.
10. Watching him with the boys.
11. Knowing he will spank me if he says he will.
12. the way he “pats” my bottom when I walk by.
13. The way he calls me “Mine”,
14. The way he holds me when i am crying.
15. The way he will stroke my head as he spanks.

I wonder sometimes do we realize how much they hurt?  I mean not the ones said that are meant to hurt but the ones where someone is trying to explain what they are thinking and how they are feeling yet they cut to the core of the person they are talking to.

Do we pay attention to what we are saying.  In a relationship is it more important that you are heard then how your words may affect the person you are talking to?  Do you feel like you have the right to say whatever you are thinking regardless of how the other person feel about it.

How do you respond when they say something that hurts you?

Do you feel in a DD marriage that this dynamic changes at all?  How about the wife talking to the husband if he has done something to hurt her.  How does she bring it up without being disrespectful?  Sometimes it feels like no matter what he does to me that I need to only think happy thoughts towards him and that if there is anything other then that to express them is disrespectful and argumentative.  I think maybe it is just his pride is such that he can’t bear to hear that he has hurt me.  Yet, if I can’t share with him when he has and I can only exspress things he is cxomfortable with is this wy of life really a good thing?